A plea about getting real...

I'm not following you back because you are not real. None of you with the same background actually exists as a human being. When I follow one of you, with your similar blue backgrounds looking like the Zombie Virtual Illuminati, I am DMed with a request to buy more Not Real followers. Despite your protests to the contrary, they're not real either. Ironic, that I am messaged by not real people, who insist there are many more people ready to follow me, who are equally as real. But I'm not going to engage with not real people.

I can envisage one point at which I might buy not-real bot-real followers: If I reach my following limit and I want to follow many more people. This is not an ideal scenario for me. Ideally, you should get real. Then I might follow you.

WANTED!


Novel-writing tips

Here are some novel-writing tips from the experts:

Is there a standard paragraph indentation for novels, in terms of inches or centimeters?

Yes. It's called a "span", and a person who employs this paragraph technique is a "spanner". If you use it throughout your novel, you're known in the publishing industry as a "complete spanner". Complete spanners measure their paragraph "span" by placing their middle finger over the screen between the text and white space at the start of the paragraph when Word magnification is at 128.25% using Tahoma font.



You can stare at your middle finger and draw a virtual line across the screen with the index finger of your free hand until it touches the far edge of the screen. Then, trace your eyeline back to the middle finger and focus on it. Once you're happy, think about writing your manuscript, rather than considering what a complete spanner you are.

Belated April Fool's to one and all


The House Presents...The Annesley House performances (APR 5TH SHOW)

Dublin's vibrant arts scene is impressive relative to the city's size. The Annesley House is one venue I had never encountered before (as a performance space). An intimate stage on the upper floor at Dublin's North Wall / Fairview / Five Lamps area was the setting for an interesting and eclectic showcase of artistic endeavour. But according to its organisers, the House Presents takes place at Annesley House every first Friday. More details at 
http://thehousepresents.wix.com/thehousepresents and
https://www.facebook.com/thehousepresents.

Aiden O'Reilly kicked things off at the Holy Sahhurdeee show.
He read excerpts from a short story that was both surreal and vividly authentic in its depiction of a relationship's highs and lows. It reminded me of a tale by Israeli writer Etgar Keret, similar in theme rather than content, with its surreal edge and its treatment of and implications about gender and relationships.

Next up was a duo: Harpist Maeve Gilchrist's wonderfully melodic music was set to step dancer Nic Gareiss's (mostly) shuffling. The flipside is that Gareiss's percussive feet accompanied Gilchrist's music.
If the mark of a stepdancer is his ability to occasionally make sounds that are difficult to notice while watching him, then Mr Gareiss lived up to expectations.
It's about more than sleight-of-foot, of course - and step dancing is nothing about such trickery in reality - but he is a more than capable percussive presence alongside Gilchrist's harp (and voice).
The harp was a pleasure to listen to. One can understand why angels and cherubic gods of love typically lug their little lyres around - Gilchrist's playing was what you might expect from such music. Nothing avantgarde or headwrecking, and a beautifully-accomplished performance.

Dancer and musician more than complemented each other. It would be worth seeing a longer, standalone gig from the pair - or from either one of them. The collaboration is worth checking out if you can.



The poetry of Greek-Canadian Dimitra X was next.
She read a number of pieces that featured the Christian human godhead (perhaps for the Easter evening that was in it). Poetry should make you think. Ms Xidous's lines about men inheriting their mother's hands had me examining my own delicate cuticles in a whole new light. Other gems included a line about the Body of Christ sleeping with prostitutes and fishes, and love containing both honey and sting.
Ms Xidous is a very talented performance wordsmith who manages to draw on both the evocative imagery from her own experience and mind, and the Western tradition, to deliver an impact that leaves one contemplative.

BeRn was last to take to the stage. A singer-songwriter and performer, she has toured and worked with the best of 'em. The first couple of songs were met with appreciative silence.
With the (loudish) acoustic guitar and vocal, her set was the one that least required the quietness, but amongst an evening of performers that was apparently random in its sequence, she was a worthy headliner.
A lyricist of some profundity too, some of her lines were pure gold, and then they were gone! Bern can do whimsy, fun, and intersong banter as well as the serious stuff. Folk, rock and punk are clear influences in her music. Some of the numbers seem slightly parodic, but they all more than stand on their own merits.

Multi-performer and -discipline gigs are a regular occurrence at The Annesley House. Keep an eye out for the next evening of culture, folks!

Good Friday

In 1948, the Inter-Party coalition replaced Fianna Fáil. Dev and the gang - in government for more than a decade - had always been eager for news from the Vatican about red hat appointments.


Dev as a Chyung F'laa
Archbishop of Dublin John Charles McQuaid hadn't been made cardinal in the previous two sets of corporate promotions because even in Rome, people were starting to realise he was anti-Protestant, anti-Semitic, anti-mixed athletics, anti-dancing, and pre-marital-antenatal-send-them-off-to-the-laundries. Via correspondence with the organisers, he had effectively prevented Catholic-Protestant and Catholic-Jewish fora from taking place, insisting that only Catholics could lecture at the meetings, and that he had to approve the speakers (mostly priests), although he had no objection to Protestants and Jews attending.

The dodgy WW2 Pope Pius XII - who (some claim) was less outspoken against the Nazis than he should have been - looked at the Archbishop of Dublin and thought: "This guy is a fascist!"
Mr. Charlie Chaplin

The new Fine Gael led government sent a telegram to the Vatican at its first cabinet meeting stating it intended "...to repose at the feet of Your Holiness the assurance of our filial loyalty and of our devotion to Your August Person as well as our firm resolve to be guided in all our work by the teaching of Christ and to strive for the attainment of a social order in Ireland based on Christian principles."


Thankfully, we have a more healthy attitude where Rome doesn't dictate how we live our lives today, a better rapport where we're not being lectured to, and we can inquire and engage without fear of prosecution or prejudice. I'm off out to the pub tonight to have a few scoops to celebrate. Might head up North too! I hear the pubs in Belfast are open till 10pm.
Stay out of here now, yeh dirty beggar!