Dora the Explorer deported

Dora the Explorer has finally been captured - and been returned to her Latin American country of origin - following a tip-off from a homeless individual living under a bridge somewhere in the southwestern United States. The bridge dweller - whose location and identity have not been revealed by the authorities - had informed the Immigration Bureau that Dora had resided in the United States for some years on a long-expired study visa.

Dora's desire to undertake what she considered valuable tasks on the far side of the same bridge ultimately led to her capture, as she was tricked into the revelation due to her arrangement with the homeless individual. On a regular basis, her crossing of the bridge had been prevented unless she answered questions. Although entrapment of this kind is common in the various law enforcement agencies responsible for immigration, it is rare that a private citizen is so involved in deportations.

Democrats in the House of Representatives had supported the issuance of a fast-track visa following Dora's arrest  However, Republican Rand Paul spent fourteen hours on the House floor this week, blocking the opportunity for Democrats to propose a visa amnesty specific to Dora.

Arsfand Schfweppes (R-MO) controversially declared:
"This is one little wetback who's going home." His voice rose as he uttered the word "going", and went low when he uttered "home" with a little shake of his head. He then did a shuffling dance, which is available to view on youtube, set to a piece of music called Harlem Shake.

Dora was ultimately deported on a technicality, having violated a number of federal laws concerning the introduction of exotic fauna. Her monkey companion, Boots, was held to be a "non-naturalized", "wild, non-native species", and "invasive" by officials at the Environmental Protection Agency.

With the animal now euthanized, Dora has been charged with several EPA infractions, which she will have to contest in court if she attempts to return to the United States.

Suggestions that Dora was mistreated by Customs officials have been met with derision. She was refused the right to take her hand luggage aboard her flight, they claim, because her backpack appeared to contain technology with which the Customs officers were neither familiar nor comfortable. The satchel itself responded to a number of questions pertaining to whether Dora had packed it, and whether it had left her sight at any point after she had done so.

Not wishing to risk a bomb threat, a senior immigration official confiscated the backpack. Claims that he muttered the words "Dora the Exploder" while doing so have been denied. The satchel will be safely detonated by a bomb disposal squad at a later date.